Friday, August 10, 2007

Sorry Honey

I realized that in my last post I was hard on my husband. I love him dearly. He is a great father to K. When I first found out I was having a girl I was a little scared of how his relationship would be with her. My DH did not really think that there was really a baby in my stomach. He was very detached during my pregnancy. When I was in the O.R. and she was born he looked at me and said, "I can't believe she was in there." Of course he was able to go and see her before they took her to the NICU, when he came back to me he said "she cannot date until she is thirty." It was like he finally realized that he was a dad. All that night he would rub my arm and say "I can't believe we did this, we are parents." From the moment she was born he has had nothing but love for her. I am amazed at the patience he has I could not ask for a better father for her. So even though I am hard on him sometimes I do love him with all of my heart. Although I am not happy with our current situation, I am happy to be married to him and have the wonderful daughter that we have.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

I'm Home???

My DH and I had been married for three years when he dropped a bomb on me. He was not happy at his current job and wanted a change. I hate change. He found a job that was two hours away from the town I had called home for twenty four years. He told me that this was his dream job, and that we could move in the middle which would only put us an hour away from ALL of our family. I wanted to be a supportive wife, and I was unhappy at my current job. This was an excellent opportunity to quit with a good reason. So we made the move at first I hated it. I did not unpack for two weeks. One day my new neighbor came over to say hello and see if we were settled in. She walked in and saw all the unopened boxes. I was embarrassed and made up an excuse about being busy with other things and just not having time. She is looked at me like I was crazy. I mean I didn't have a job so what was I doing? Nothing, I was sitting on the couch with no remote (it was in a box) watching T.V. I was feeling sorry for myself. She told me that she was home for the rest of the day and that she would be right back. When she came back she brought margaritas and a radio. At the end of the day every single box was unpacked. I grew to love that house and my neighbors. I had new friends and everything was great. I was now ready to start a family. Well that was easier said then done. In the meantime I went back to school and got my dream job! All was great. Then it got even better. I got pregnant. In the middle of my pregnancy guess what? DH again decided he needed a change. Great. We would have to move again. Only twenty miles this time, but still new town yada yada. The main thing is that instead of working twenty four hour shifts it would be 8-5 M-F. I know some of you are thinking that's good, but I was used to having time to myself every third day. I was really against it. I felt that we were settled. I loved my house and my friends, but I just did not have the strength to fight him. The day we closed on our house was bad. We sold our house faster than anticipated (despite the fact that the for sale signs were "stolen"....twice) and we had to move into a rental. I HATE where we live. It has almost been a year and I hate it. Is it because I live in a house that is not mine? Is it because I had to yet again leave my comfort zone? I really don't know. This change has caused friction between DH and I. I resent the choice a lot. I thought we were set where we were. I feel like he has cheated me from my dream. He has stressed me out more than I could ever explain to you here. This is not what I had in mind. I am angry at him. Today I took K over to our old neighbors house for a play date. It was the first time I have been there since we moved. When we were leaving I cried (in the car) for a little while. My heart aches to go back in time and tell my husband he is crazy, but I can't. If only I would have spoken up. I know you are all thinking I will get over this and grow to love it here too. I only hope that you are right. I love my husband. We have been through a lot together. He just wants to follow his dreams. I can't fault him for that.

Monday, August 6, 2007


A few random thoughts for Monday:

It is HOT!!!

I have some toys that were involved in the recall.

My daughter needs to wear 12mos in the waist, but they are way to short. Any suggestions?? I cannot sew.

I love reading blogs. You guys do a great job. Its better than T.V.

When I went in to get K up this morning she was naked.

I did not like to wear clothes when I was little.

Its Hot!!!!!

Have a great Monday!!

Friday, August 3, 2007

She is growing up

My little girl is growing up. Everyone said this time would go by fast. How can it go by this fast? Last night I was cleaning up the toys in the living room and I told K to go to her room and put all of her toys in her basket...she did it!!!!!! That's Mommy's little cleaner! Now if I can teach her to fold laundry and cook dinner will be in business.

In other news I think I scared her with the potty. (I going to tell a poop story) She let me know that she had poop in her diaper. I thought it would be a great time to show her where we put the poop and what we do with it. So I put the poop in the toilet and we said bye bye poop. Well when she looked in the toilet and saw that her poop was gone she had a meltdown. I really hope that I have not ruined potty training.

I am still waiting o n my niece to be born. I have five more weeks. I cannot wait. My DH is an only child and I only have the one brother so I am very excited about becoming an aunt. I really never thought that my brother would get married and have kids, but he found this fantastic woman and fortunately he was smart enough to marry her. I really could not ask for a better SIL. I left my child alone with her for over an hour. That says alot right there. Besides my mom and my MIL she is the only one. That is a whole different story for another blog.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.