Wednesday, August 8, 2007

I'm Home???

My DH and I had been married for three years when he dropped a bomb on me. He was not happy at his current job and wanted a change. I hate change. He found a job that was two hours away from the town I had called home for twenty four years. He told me that this was his dream job, and that we could move in the middle which would only put us an hour away from ALL of our family. I wanted to be a supportive wife, and I was unhappy at my current job. This was an excellent opportunity to quit with a good reason. So we made the move at first I hated it. I did not unpack for two weeks. One day my new neighbor came over to say hello and see if we were settled in. She walked in and saw all the unopened boxes. I was embarrassed and made up an excuse about being busy with other things and just not having time. She is looked at me like I was crazy. I mean I didn't have a job so what was I doing? Nothing, I was sitting on the couch with no remote (it was in a box) watching T.V. I was feeling sorry for myself. She told me that she was home for the rest of the day and that she would be right back. When she came back she brought margaritas and a radio. At the end of the day every single box was unpacked. I grew to love that house and my neighbors. I had new friends and everything was great. I was now ready to start a family. Well that was easier said then done. In the meantime I went back to school and got my dream job! All was great. Then it got even better. I got pregnant. In the middle of my pregnancy guess what? DH again decided he needed a change. Great. We would have to move again. Only twenty miles this time, but still new town yada yada. The main thing is that instead of working twenty four hour shifts it would be 8-5 M-F. I know some of you are thinking that's good, but I was used to having time to myself every third day. I was really against it. I felt that we were settled. I loved my house and my friends, but I just did not have the strength to fight him. The day we closed on our house was bad. We sold our house faster than anticipated (despite the fact that the for sale signs were "stolen"....twice) and we had to move into a rental. I HATE where we live. It has almost been a year and I hate it. Is it because I live in a house that is not mine? Is it because I had to yet again leave my comfort zone? I really don't know. This change has caused friction between DH and I. I resent the choice a lot. I thought we were set where we were. I feel like he has cheated me from my dream. He has stressed me out more than I could ever explain to you here. This is not what I had in mind. I am angry at him. Today I took K over to our old neighbors house for a play date. It was the first time I have been there since we moved. When we were leaving I cried (in the car) for a little while. My heart aches to go back in time and tell my husband he is crazy, but I can't. If only I would have spoken up. I know you are all thinking I will get over this and grow to love it here too. I only hope that you are right. I love my husband. We have been through a lot together. He just wants to follow his dreams. I can't fault him for that.

1 comment:

Susiewearsthepants said...

I hope you learn to like your new home. I didn't know it bothered you this much. If nothing else, the next something like this happens, let him know how you feel. You guys should be partners.