My Husband Has a Mistress

My Husband has a mistress. I will call her Ava. She has been around for a long time. I knew about her before we were married. I knew that after we were married she would remain in his life. I am sure she will be in his life forever. You would think that after nine years of marriage I would come first, but that is not always the case. She calls at all hours of the day and night. I cannot begin to count the number of holidays and family events he has missed because of her. A few years ago, “M” who is five came to live with us. He was a result of Ava. My husband had to go away for five weeks when he found out that M was coming. I went to visit him and M for a few days. Let me tell you M hated me! The feeling was mutual. I did not want him in my house. I thought that I had made a huge mistake letting my husband take on this responsibility. My friends and family told me I was crazy. I could have put my foot down, but my husband was convinced that it was what he wanted, and he would take complete care of him. For the most part he does. I have on occasion had to keep him why my husband is out of town, but that is rare. He goes to work with him everyday and they have a special bond. I do still get jealous of M. He takes up time that my husband could be spending with our daughter and me. My daughter loves him. He loves her. I was very scared that when we brought my daughter home that M would have issues. He has loved her from day one. I have grown to love him, and he is a part of the family now.

You are probably wondering why I put up with this. The truth is I have often thought about giving him an ultimatum that it is her or me. Then I have to remember she has made him into the person he is today. Without her, I am afraid that he would not have any goals or ambition. Because of her, my husband went to college. He is the first person in his family EVER to go to college. Therefore, I will continue to put up with her. After all, I have a husband that many consider a hero and a “fire sniffer” black lab named M that my daughter and I adore.


***I have read different stories like this from other fire and police wives. This is mine.***

It's A girl!!!

So I am only a week late posting this. I am officially an aunt. My SIL did a wonderful job. Avery is a beautiful baby girl. She weighed 8lbs 1oz. I got to see her for about five minutes. I cannot wait to go back and visit her again. There is nothing in this world that makes you think about wanting another baby until you hold one that is just a few minutes old.

Turns out my mom was not in the room. When it came down to pushing SIL kicked everyone out.

It Has Been Awhile

Wow I have not been able to blog in a long time. I am having computer problems. I have been busy. My dad had knee surgery. I have been having to drive two hours each way everyday to go see him. He is doing much better now.

In more exciting news K has really began to talk. It happened all at once. DH went out of town and when he came home she was talking. She is growing up so fast.

My SIL is due any day now. I am so excited. OK so I have a question. You know that when K was born I had an emergency c-section. I had always dreamed of giving birth and having my mom in the room, well it just didn't work out. I have always felt like I let my mom down because she was really excited about being there for the birth and all. So my SIL tells me today that she is planning on asking my mom to be in the room when her baby is born. I am jealous! My question is am I just being too sensitive? I love my SIL and I want her labor and delivery to go just as she has planned, but I am still a little green.

Sorry Honey

I realized that in my last post I was hard on my husband. I love him dearly. He is a great father to K. When I first found out I was having a girl I was a little scared of how his relationship would be with her. My DH did not really think that there was really a baby in my stomach. He was very detached during my pregnancy. When I was in the O.R. and she was born he looked at me and said, "I can't believe she was in there." Of course he was able to go and see her before they took her to the NICU, when he came back to me he said "she cannot date until she is thirty." It was like he finally realized that he was a dad. All that night he would rub my arm and say "I can't believe we did this, we are parents." From the moment she was born he has had nothing but love for her. I am amazed at the patience he has I could not ask for a better father for her. So even though I am hard on him sometimes I do love him with all of my heart. Although I am not happy with our current situation, I am happy to be married to him and have the wonderful daughter that we have.

I'm Home???

My DH and I had been married for three years when he dropped a bomb on me. He was not happy at his current job and wanted a change. I hate change. He found a job that was two hours away from the town I had called home for twenty four years. He told me that this was his dream job, and that we could move in the middle which would only put us an hour away from ALL of our family. I wanted to be a supportive wife, and I was unhappy at my current job. This was an excellent opportunity to quit with a good reason. So we made the move at first I hated it. I did not unpack for two weeks. One day my new neighbor came over to say hello and see if we were settled in. She walked in and saw all the unopened boxes. I was embarrassed and made up an excuse about being busy with other things and just not having time. She is looked at me like I was crazy. I mean I didn't have a job so what was I doing? Nothing, I was sitting on the couch with no remote (it was in a box) watching T.V. I was feeling sorry for myself. She told me that she was home for the rest of the day and that she would be right back. When she came back she brought margaritas and a radio. At the end of the day every single box was unpacked. I grew to love that house and my neighbors. I had new friends and everything was great. I was now ready to start a family. Well that was easier said then done. In the meantime I went back to school and got my dream job! All was great. Then it got even better. I got pregnant. In the middle of my pregnancy guess what? DH again decided he needed a change. Great. We would have to move again. Only twenty miles this time, but still new town yada yada. The main thing is that instead of working twenty four hour shifts it would be 8-5 M-F. I know some of you are thinking that's good, but I was used to having time to myself every third day. I was really against it. I felt that we were settled. I loved my house and my friends, but I just did not have the strength to fight him. The day we closed on our house was bad. We sold our house faster than anticipated (despite the fact that the for sale signs were "stolen"....twice) and we had to move into a rental. I HATE where we live. It has almost been a year and I hate it. Is it because I live in a house that is not mine? Is it because I had to yet again leave my comfort zone? I really don't know. This change has caused friction between DH and I. I resent the choice a lot. I thought we were set where we were. I feel like he has cheated me from my dream. He has stressed me out more than I could ever explain to you here. This is not what I had in mind. I am angry at him. Today I took K over to our old neighbors house for a play date. It was the first time I have been there since we moved. When we were leaving I cried (in the car) for a little while. My heart aches to go back in time and tell my husband he is crazy, but I can't. If only I would have spoken up. I know you are all thinking I will get over this and grow to love it here too. I only hope that you are right. I love my husband. We have been through a lot together. He just wants to follow his dreams. I can't fault him for that.

Monday

A few random thoughts for Monday:


It is HOT!!!

I have some toys that were involved in the recall.

My daughter needs to wear 12mos in the waist, but they are way to short. Any suggestions?? I cannot sew.

I love reading blogs. You guys do a great job. Its better than T.V.

When I went in to get K up this morning she was naked.

I did not like to wear clothes when I was little.

Its Hot!!!!!

Have a great Monday!!

She is growing up

My little girl is growing up. Everyone said this time would go by fast. How can it go by this fast? Last night I was cleaning up the toys in the living room and I told K to go to her room and put all of her toys in her basket...she did it!!!!!! That's Mommy's little cleaner! Now if I can teach her to fold laundry and cook dinner will be in business.

In other news I think I scared her with the potty. (I going to tell a poop story) She let me know that she had poop in her diaper. I thought it would be a great time to show her where we put the poop and what we do with it. So I put the poop in the toilet and we said bye bye poop. Well when she looked in the toilet and saw that her poop was gone she had a meltdown. I really hope that I have not ruined potty training.

I am still waiting o n my niece to be born. I have five more weeks. I cannot wait. My DH is an only child and I only have the one brother so I am very excited about becoming an aunt. I really never thought that my brother would get married and have kids, but he found this fantastic woman and fortunately he was smart enough to marry her. I really could not ask for a better SIL. I left my child alone with her for over an hour. That says alot right there. Besides my mom and my MIL she is the only one. That is a whole different story for another blog.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Mommy Test

This is an email I got this morning. I thought it was true and worth sharing.


Mommy test

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been,it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart."
I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."

"Exactly!" I replied back with a big smile on my face.
When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom

My body is not what it used to be

So my DH and I were talking about having another baby. Nothing serious just talking. I was asking him what he thought about me trying to have a VBAC next time around. He said "A what?" I told him that it means I would try and have my next child "regular" ( I am using man terms for his sake) instead of a c-section. He said "why it was so easy to have the c-section." OK it was not easy!!!!! Easy for him maybe for me not so much. Anyway I got to thinking maybe it would be easier. I told him well if I did have a c-section I would still have the vagina of a twenty year old. Without missing a beat he said "wow are you going to have vaginaplasty?" "You know you and your vagina are thirty." Thanks honey your the best.

What is she saying?????

OK so K is trying to tell me something. At first I thought it was "mine" then I thought it was 'Come on". Now I am clueless!!!! I need a baby translator. It sounds like "ma" and she says it when she wants something, when she has dropped something, when she sees something, pretty much all the time. What does it mean???? I know that she is behind in her verbal skills. Apparently a twenty month old should be talking a lot more. She does say a few words that are clear to me, but I don't know if anyone else knows what she is saying. It is very frustrating to me and I know it is to her as well. The pediatrician told me that if she was not saying 50 words by the time she was two, we would need to put her in speech therapy. Well we have four months.

Words she does say:
shoes
outside
mama
Dada
juice
ut oh
hot
cold
papa
paw-paw
Nana
spots
ouch
blocks
up

Bathroom Floor

OK so I am a completely grossed out by germs. My little pumpkin is not. It is completely fine with her to eat off the floor. She is so fast. I know that I cannot keep her in a bubble, but it is completely grossing me out. I just hope that I can keep her from doing what I saw a child doing yesterday..........
I am out shopping and I had to pee. (For those who know me you know I must have REALLY had to pee to g0 into a public bathroom) So I roll K in her stroller into the handicap stall. I am squatting and peeing, and I look down and there are two eyes looking at me. I am startled. It is a little boy and he is now waving. He has crawled all they way from the first stall down to mine (the last) on his belly, hands, knees, whatever. I never said anything, but I was like wow. Now this little boy was not old enough to walk. There are so many reasons why he should not have been on the floor in a public bathroom and while germs is a big one, what about someone snatching him up and taking him? I finished what I was doing and made my way to the sink. When I was at the sink the mother came out of her stall and went to the next one to retrieve her son. Then they both walk out. That's right she did not wash her hands or the baby's that had just been crawling on the floor. I really hoped that I did not see them at the food court. I mean come on is it me or is that just nasty???

Pink Fuzzy Handcuffs

OK random thoughts for Monday.
1.) I have very few friends, but I have great friends.
2.)I get more things done around my house when I do it alone then when DH helps.
3.)My MIL does not know what fuzzy pink handcuffs are for.
4.)I am going to be an aunt in less than six weeks.
5.)I noticed today at breakfast that my daughter really does look just like her daddy.

OK all for now.

I am going to blog...

OK so I have not posted since November. I read a lot of blogs and really enjoy them. So from here on I hope to post everyday. OK a least twice a week.

I really don't know what to blog about. Kinda scared to blog about the family because you never know who could be reading. Then again it will all be true and maybe that is what they need a little truth.